The Curious Case of TheElderStatesman

TheElderStatesman is quite the character of history. A man of talents so deep that a common person feels an instantaneous sensation of insecurity when Statesman enters the room. This sensation has been classified and detailed in Sigmund Freud's (6 May 1856 – 23 September 1939) Psychodynamic Theory. We standard men look to Statesman and question how a single man can be so dashing, daring, and dynamic. Through countless hours of research we have cataloged some of Statesman's greatest achievements. Even Statesman's voice has been declared by local Cartoon Enthusiast and Professional Photographer Duckisaurus, as soothing and nice. It seems that TheElderStatesman was indeed, built differently. Statesman has been a man known to trust harder than any other man. He trusts so deeply that his trust of others can often hurt him. This is why Statesman has crafted a legacy of success that need no trust, only talent. Spending countless hours practicing and mastering his skills he began the pursuit of a World Record Speedrun in one of Disney's most critically acclaimed games; Timon & Puumba's Jungle Games which holds a very high critic score of 7.4 out of 10 on IMDB, making it one of the most highly rated movie franchise games in the history of Earth.

After a few short weeks, Statesman was able to device not just a strategy on how to beat the Jungle Games; but he was able to redefine the meta and create a completely original methodology of play. This involved getting multi-stacks of bugs lined vertically that he would subsequently eliminate for a combo score that would often eliminate the opponent with a single maneuver. This maneuver has been coined by the Timon & Puumba's Jungle Game community as Elder's Game in reference to Sci-fi Novel hit Ender's Game which often mirrors many of the power plays involving bug strategy that TheElderStatesman is known for using in his world record runs. On November 7th, 2020, despite a global pandemic ripping apart America, TheElderStatesman was able to secure a world record time of 23m 59s in Timon & Puumba's Jungle Games Bug Drop. This record would go on to be unchallenged for months as Statesman offered to teach those around him Elder's Game theory free of charge even though his services were often in high demand and extremely expensive internationally. To this date Statesman's record stands unbeatable, our question to you loyal Pizza Pals... do you have what it takes?